


Do You Think About Me (Cause I Can't Get You Off My Mind)

by eversinceniall



Series: Unloveable [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, He's been in love with, I had to write this, I'm done!, Louis for awhile, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, No happy ending for zayn and Louis, Poor Zayn Malik, Soulmates, Swearing, Unrequited Love, Zayn hates fate, Zayn is sad, and if you're here for a happy ending, are soulmates, at least I think so, between zayn and Louis, but larry is there too, he makes an appearance at the end, i love zouis, it has a lot of talk about Zayn thinking, kind of, liam is not in this much, louis+harry, okay, sorry - Freeform, talk of stars, that louis and himself, the word fate is used A LOT, then you should probably leave, there's a hopeful ending, this is a zouis story, zayn falls in love easy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 20:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1755905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversinceniall/pseuds/eversinceniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Louis, they're best friends, but they're more than that, Zayn thinks. </p>
<p>(Or, the one where fate made plans (at least according to Zayn), and those plans involved Zayn and Louis being destined to end up together, because surely they're perfect for each other? But then Louis meets Harry, and everything is a screwed up mess)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Think About Me (Cause I Can't Get You Off My Mind)

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii! I hope you like this! (And if you don't, then sorry!) Please tell me if there are any mistakes or ways I could've improved this. Give me opinions! Thanks for reading!

.  
-

Zayn's POV

Zayn has always thought there was something special about Louis. He's not certain what it is, he just knows that Louis' his best friend and Louis understands him, gets him better than anyone else he's ever known. Louis is always there, a sort of comfort whenever Zayn's upset.

 

Louis is like a bright light, a ray of happiness when things are getting Zayn down. Louis' bright and bubbly, and Zayn can't be mad at him, because he's always so cheerful, and he makes Zayn feel whole inside. Louis makes Zayn feel like he can do anything when they're together. Louis is like the oxygen Zayn breathes. And Zayn doesn't think he could live without Louis. He needs Louis like he needs food and water.

 

And that's when Zayn realizes something.

 

He's in love with his best friend, Louis Tomlinson. 

 

Shit.

 

* * *  
Louis meets Harry on a warm and sunny day in the middle of June. Louis is 20 and Harry's 18. Zayn knows this, because Louis gushed about 'the boy with curly hair and pretty green eyes' as soon as he got home, and if Zayn felt a sharp pang of jealously, well, nobody has to know.

 

Louis went to Starbucks to get a coffee before he went to work, and as he was about to leave, he bumped right into Harry and spilled his coffee all over him. And, somehow, they talked and exchanged numbers. It all sounds a bit too cliche' to Zayn. Like a fairytale.

 

Zayn brushes it off. Louis has dated people and the relationships never last long. He doesn't think Harry is significant enough to remember. Louis probably won't call Harry anyway, Zayn tells himself, but there's no denying the nagging doubt in the back of his mind.

* * *

Louis does call Harry. They arrange a date for that Friday. On Friday, Louis stands in front of the stand-up mirror in his bedroom.

 

"How do I look?" Louis asks, looking at himself in the mirror from different angles.

 

"You look fine, Lou. This is the sixth time you've asked me." Zayn chuckles, ignoring the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

"I just want to look good for Harry." Louis protests, smiling softly.

 

"You always look beautiful." Zayn says, and- he did not mean to say that.

 

"I know. Nobody can resist my charm." Louis teases, like Zayn was joking. He wasn't.

 

"You look great. I promise. Besides, you've switched shirts so many times I've lost count." Zayn tells him.

 

There's a knock on the door, and Louis' face lights up like he won the lottery. Zayn wishes Louis reacted like that to him.

 

"I'll see you later, Zee." Louis calls over his shoulder as he walks towards the door, but then he turns around and wraps his arms around Zayn in a hug.

 

"I don't think I could ask for a better best friend than you." Louis whispers.

 

Zayn presses a kiss to Louis's forehead, and hopes the date goes horribly. He doesn't feel guilty (He does, and he wants Louis to be happy, but he wants to be the one that makes Louis light up like Christmas lights).

When Louis gets home, he's bouncing on his feet, his eyes bright.

 

"What's got you so happy?" Zayn asks, even though he already knows the answer.

 

"Harry! He's so perfect. Like, he cooked a whole meal for us with expensive wine and candles! I didn't even know he could cook. It was just...amazing. I really like him, Zee." Louis gushes, his eyes glazed, as if remembering how perfect it was.

 

"That's great." Zayn lies, forcing a fake smile. Louis doesn't even notice that Zayn is acting weird, instead off in his own little HarryandLouis world. It hurts.

 

While Zayn lays in bed that night, he tries to reassure himself. Harry probably won't even last long, Louis will get tired of him and move onto to someone else, Zayn thinks. He knows it's a lie. And he knows that Harry isn't going to go away like all the others. He can only hope.

* * *

Zayn invited a bunch of people over. Basically everyone on his contact list. There's more than 100 people here in his and Louis' flat. It's crowded and he might be suffocating a little, but he's not sure because he's had a lot to drink. Louis is out with Harry, as usual. So he invited people over. It was supposed to be close friends but he decided to invite everyone he knows, and then they invited their friends, so. Zayn's drank a lot. Like a ton, and it's good. It's great because he almost feels numb enough to ignore the pain. But it's still there, although dull.

 

Suddenly, he hears a voice shout in his ear. "What the fuck, Zayn? You threw a party? Fucking hell." Louis is saying.

 

Zayn doesn't hear it. He hears, but he doesn't care, he blocks the words out until they're just a noise, just a sound that he can't register. And then the pain is back, the dull, numb feeling vanishing the moment he sees Louis. Zayn looks at Louis and he's so so beautiful. Louis' hair is up in a quiff and he's wearing tight red skinny jeans, and a white tee shirt. Zayn loves him so so much.

 

He feels Louis grab his arm and pull him into his bedroom.

 

"God, Zee, you're so wasted. I need to get these people out. I'll be back." Louis says, and he turns to leave but Zayn grabs his arms, says, "Noo. Louuiiiss. Stay with me." Zayn whines, and then he kisses Louis.

 

Louis makes a sound of surprise and kisses back, but when he registers who is kissing him and what's happening, he pushes Zayn off.

 

"I love you. I love you I love you so much. Louis, why? Louis why don't you love me? I love you I love you please why can't you love me like you love him I love you so much more than him I do I need you not him he'll never love you like I do I've loved you since we were kids I love you I love you I love you you're mine we're supposed to be together louisandzayn not harryandlouis I need you I need you here with me I need you to love me please love me." Zayn sobs, and his words are all slurred together, incoherent 

 

Zayn's pretty sure Louis can't understand him at all, except for a few choice words. Zayn doesn't even know he's crying till he tastes the familiar saltiness of his own tears. He's full on sobbing, loud hiccups and choking on the words, "Why don't you love me," over and over again like a chant. Louis pats his back soothingly, trying to find out what's gotten his best friend so upset. Zayn curls into a ball and falls asleep crying, wishing Louis would love him.

 

* * *  
"Are you in love with me?" Louis blurts out of nowhere.

 

They're sitting on their sofa watching some stupid comedy show when Louis asks. It's only a couple of days since the party. 

 

"What?" Zayn asks, and he chokes on his tea. Literally. He starts coughing badly and only stops when Louis pats his back.

 

"Are you?" Louis asks, and his eyes are wide and fearful.

 

Zayn's not sure what to say. He wants to say yes, yes he is. But the way Louis is looking at him, so scared and upset, it's making him rethink things.

 

"Don't lie. Tell me. I need to know." Louis says, and his voice is shaky but confident at the same time.

 

"Yeah." Zayn says. One simple word. He never knew this would be his love declaration.

 

And then Louis is staring at him. Looking at him like he's never seen him before. Zayn thinks he sees something like regret in Louis' eyes, but it's gone as soon as it came.

 

But all Louis says is, "Okay." And then softer, "Okay,"

 

They don't say anything else after that.

Zayn wonders if it even really happened.  
* * *

One day, after Louis and Harry have been dating for over a year, Zayn asks why Louis loves Harry.

 

"I don't know. Like, I think he's my soulmate. We can banter back and forth for hours and it's never awkward between us. We have things in common, but we also have our differences. Harry's the easiest person in the world to talk to. I trust him with my life, and when I hear his name, I'm instantly happy for no reason whatsoever. I laugh at all his lame jokes, and he's adorable when he pouts and argues saying that his jokes are hilarious. I love every little thing about him. I don't think I've ever loved someone as much as I love Harry." Louis looks at him warily, as if waiting for him to react horribly, but Zayn ignores it.

 

When Zayn goes over everything that Louis said, he can't help but think that it sounds a lot like them. A lot like his love for Louis.

* * *

Zayn thinks maybe he wasn't meant to be happy. He's been so in love for so long, and nothing good has come out of it, unless losing the love of your life to someone else is considered good. Harry and Louis will probably get married and have kids, and he'll be pining after Louis even when he's a wrinkly eighty year old man. Zayn thinks his love for Louis is eternally. It'll never burn out or dim down. It's like an endless black hole, leading nowhere but going in circles.

* * *

"Harry asked me to marry him and I said yes!" Louis squeals, utterly happy.

 

Zayn feels his like he can't breathe, literally. His breath is sucked right out of his body, and he feels dizzy, he doesn't even know he's falling until Louis catches him.

 

"Oh my god, Zee! Are you alright?!" Louis asks, concerned.

 

Zayn's vision is blurry with black dots but he nods. "I'm fine. I'm very happy for you." Zayn says, once he has gained the ability to stand up straight again, and then he plasters on another fake smile.

 

It seems like everything is fake nowadays, or maybe Zayn's just gotten used to it.

* * *

Louis and Harry get married on their second year anniversary together. Zayn is Louis' best man, of course. And as he watches the way they look at each other, he knows he never even had a shot with Louis. When they say "I do" he smiles and claps like everyone else. As soon as he can, he runs outside. He leans against a wall and takes a deep breath.

 

Zayn thinks that maybe fate gave him all these dreams and hopes that Louis and himself would end up together, just to screw him over.

 

He thinks fate let him and Louis grow up together because it wanted Zayn to be miserable. Zayn thinks fate is a bitch. Zayn is still so desperately in love with Louis. He's known him since he was a chubby blue-eyed six year old.

 

He's loved him so much longer than Harry, and Harry doesn't deserve him. And Zayn's loved Louis since they were fifteen and accidentally snogged while drunk at a high school party. Fate is horrible because it teased him by letting him think he would always have Louis, but then it ripped Louis away and threw him into the arms of Harry Styles. Zayn hates fate.

 

He feels a single tear fall down his cheek.

 

Zayn hears foot steps, the loud crunch of shoes on crispy leaves.

 

When he looks up, he sees a boy.

 

A boy walks out of the church and he's coming towards Zayn. At first, Zayn thinks it's Louis but then he sees that the guy is taller and, yeah, it's not Louis.

"Are you alright, mate? You ran off so quickly..." The boy says, looking genuinely worried.

 

Zayn wonders who this guy is, and how he knows Louis or Harry. He's about to tell the guy to buzz off and mind his own business, but then he looks up.

 

Zayn looks at the boy's brown eyes and thinks they're nice. They're warm and welcoming. The boy is really hot and he looks like he'd be so nice. Zayn's always thought maybe he isn't supposed to have a happy ending.

 

He's thought that because he couldn't have Louis, he would never move on. But looking into this boy's eyes, he feels like maybe he can move on. Zayn knows he'll always love Louis, no matter what. But that doesn't mean he can't love someone else, right?

 

Then, he scolds himself for thinking about falling for this stranger when they've just met.

 

The boy reaches his hand out, "M'names Liam."

 

"I'm Zayn." And then they shake hands. Zayn can't help but notice how warm and soft Liam's hand is, which is kind of weird, but. He wouldn't mind holding it for awhile. It's nice. 

 

Louis is his fate. Zayn thinks so, even after all that's happened. Louis is like his star, but maybe sometimes stars burn out, or they wander too far and get lost. And even though it's hard, you have to learn to live without them.

 

"Are you okay?" Liam asks, still looking concerned.

 

"No, not really," Zayn says, "But I will be."

 

Liam smiles at him.

 

Zayn smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> his is probably going to be a series. I have an idea, like a sequel, but from Louis' POV. I'm not sure if I'll write it though.  
> Talk to me at my Tumblr: InkBravery


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